What is the Plural of Penis?

Yesterday at work the five women who sit in my row decided to have something of a party. They ordered pizza, exchanged pink gift bags full of goodies, and of course, completely neglected their work for a good hour or so. It didn’t take them very long to start talking about the one thing they all hate and loath more than anything else in the world—their husbands.

Now, complaining about your husband seems like a strange thing to do. After all, you’re the one who chose to live with him. It’s not like one day your landlord called you to tell you that some “messy, demanding, a-hole-of-a-slob will be moving in with you.” It’s not like the courts have sentenced you to spend X amount of years with someone you can’t stand. It’s a choice, so why complain?

I’m not totally anti-complaining. Lately I’ve been complaining about my crappy camera. It takes about 3 pictures per battery, and will randomly turn off for no reason. It’s a total piece of crap. And I realize that I’m the one who went to the store and picked it out, so technically I’m responsible. But here’s the difference—I’m in the market for a new camera. Instead of living the rest of my life with a camera that I hate, and instead of complaining about it to every living creature in the known universe until the day I die, I’m going to find a new one that will meet my needs and wants. A novel idea, I know.

What really bothered me about the ladies’ conversation, however, was how the language shifted from “they”= “their husbands,” to “they”=“everyone with a penis.” I’m sorry, your husband may in fact have a penis, but he is in no way on my team. You married a guy who talks down to you, doesn’t clean, and who doesn’t help around the house. The fact of the matter is there are plenty of good guys out there who would love to care for you, support you in all you do, wash the dishes and take out the trash. Seriously, there are. But you’re the one who married the dick-head douche bag, you’re the one who turned your back on all the good guys out there, and CHOSE to live with someone you hate. And you have the nerve to complain and say that ALL men are that way? Seriously?

I’m sorry, but it’s women like that who empower crappy men. The fact that they can be treated like dirt, but never leave their man’s side is only encouraging them to act that way. They are, in a way, perpetuating the degradation of women by refusing to stand up for anything more than what they’ve got.

One more thing before I go, I wanted to write a blog about Mitt Romney's recent religion speech, but then I read this (PG-13). He says everything I wanted to, only better. Just a highlight:

"In the practice of moderate and reasonable people, religion is just dandy even if I disagree with the premise. Heck, in some hands, religion is genuinely noble. But if freedom requires religion then your government needs religion to keep you free. If your government has religion then the one freedom it can never give you is freedom from religion, and that pretty much rips the guts out of your freedoms entirely. So really, as far as government is concerned, the only thing that freedom needs is for someone like Mittens to leave you alone."

p.s. Check out the link to Humor-Blogs.com, over there on the right. It's got me currently ranked #10. Thanks for reading everyone, your feedback, thoughts, etc. are always appreciated.