Child Abuse

This might come as a shock to some of you who know my family well . . . but we were abused as children. By our very own parents. No, not sexually. Not even mentally or emotionally.

I'm talking . . . cosmetically.

I first came to this realization the other day as I went through some old family photos and I found this gem:


I know what you're thinking. It's just another picture of a brother and sister, hanging out and having fun, right? WRONG. Look closer.

There's a mullet in that picture.

I scrambled through more photos, hoping to find another one that would either confirm or deny my suspicions. Then I found it, the smoking gun:


This profile view shows that my sister clearly had a mullet (it also shows me trying hard not to laugh at it). Now, it's one thing when an adult, who is old enough to discern right from wrong, goes out and gets him/herself a mullet. But to force one on a child? I'm surprised it didn't lead to other forms of abuse, like taking us to monster truck rallys, or putting crack in our cereal.

Mom, Dad--I love you guys . . . I really do. But you should have known better.